Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Johnny of Bukit Harapan Shelter Home

This actually is written by my lovely sister who used to volunteer in Bukit Harapan Shelter Home. To be honest, I never heard about that place and I think, many of you don't too. My sister wrote and published this in her facebook and I just felt that there's nothing wrong if I share it in my blog. At least, that's the only thing that I can do to help.

This here is my little friend, Johnny Paulus Ola. He is 13 years old and lives in Bukit Harapan Shelter Home in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. He looks pretty normal in this photo, but in real life, this kid suffered partial brain damage and is an epileptic. On paper, he has a mother, but in reality he is the unwanted child of a raped victim.

He loves singing and can sing a few songs in Malay and English , which for me, is an amazing talent considering his disability. He also loves dog. He has a dog named 'Kutud' and he always fed it. He is naughty at times and can be stubborn too, always gave headache to his caretaker, sis Sesilia Boleng.

Whenever I come to visit, he is one of the persons who will welcome me. He talked a lot and sometimes I really wish I could understand all his words. In the evening, we will play together in the park or just walk around the buildings. He likes the swing. Sometimes, we'll just sit on the swing chair and sing together. His favourite songs were Eh Eh (Nothing else I can say) by Lady Gaga and OK by T2.

Once, during my visit to Bukit Harapan. I cried because of some hardships I had in life, then he came to me, wipe away my tears and said 'kakak, jangan nangis' and held my hand tightly. This little comfort he gave me, makes me feel a whole lot better.

He might be left unwanted, he might be different, he might be abnormal, but for me, he is special and for that, he is loved. God bless you always, buddy.

 (The writer used to volunteer in Bukit Harapan Shelter Home as a teacher) Bukit Harapan can be reached at 6088-424567 or Cash donations can be made through HSBC Account 392-203030-001.

 “No matter how severely multiple-handicapped a body is, as long as the heart beats, we have a duty to respect and served this life for life is the most precious gift from God to us” - Mama Anne

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wordless wednesday : The nanny

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Wordless wednesday : Chillax

A baby has a special way of adding joy in every single day.
~ anon

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Life as a mother

Believe it or not but every posts that I make took me almost a week to finish it. Life as a mother means I cannot sit in front of the computer, typing and publishing at once. So what I do is writing down all the ideas on the phones, save it, taking pictures and typing it when I'm free. So complicated? Well, the baby and the house need my attention, so I have to give priority to it. After all, blogging is just a hobby, not like some of you that make it as a money income.
Life as a mother also mean that more time for the baby and less time for yourself. Sometimes, when all the baby do is crying, you have no choice but to persuade him and ignoring other things. Taking my meal after 2 or 3 p.m is a normal thing for me now. For breakfast, it is good enough if I can have a cup of hot Nescafe.

Between the baby and house chores, sometime can bring stress to you especially if you are the kind who cannot stand seeing huge piles of dirty clothes or dishes. But to do it all perfectly (cleaning, cooking, taking care of the baby, washing and tidying up the house) also can cause you to feel so tired at the end of the day. So the best thing to do is focus on the baby first, sleep when he is sleeping and do the house chores when you have time.

Sometime I have to cook while holding the baby because I am so hungry and he cry out loud when I put him on his walker. He will look at what I am doing with so much interest. The same goes with doing the laundry. The only thing that he cannot stands is when I blend his food. He will put his head really close to me, quietly and not dare to look at the blender. He probably scared of the sound hehehe. Come to sleeping, sometime he wants to sleep in his cradle and the formula milk, but there's time when he only want to breastfeed, forcing me to lie down together with him and sleeping, of course. 
I know that watching television is not good for baby but my son really loves to watch the Upin and Ipin cartoon, the same goes with the Bananana theme song, the azan and baby Vuvu. He will stop whatever he is doing when his favourites is on air, hehehe.
 At his age now, which is almost 7 months old, he only knows saying 'gugu', ba, ma, and some unidentified sound. Sometime when I'm busy and he wants my attention, he with his teary eyes will looks at me and say 'mama' with his little hand stretching out toward me. It make me wonder if he calls me or it is just one of the sound that he loves to make.

Life as a mother also need you to be a child as well. Playing or singing along with him or watching his favourite cartoons. There's time when you need to act or make a sound like a little child to get his attention. Your eyes will also have to watch him as the bigger he gets, the more things he will try to explore and do. Some will hurt and bring danger to him if you are not aware enough.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Wordless wednesday : The horse 2

Wordless wednesday : The horse

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wordless Wednesday : Six months old

Ten tiny little fingers that always want to play,
that never stop exploring the wonder of today.
Ten tiny little fingers that from the very start,
will reach out for tomorrow yet always hold your heart.
~ Anon

Sunday, March 18, 2012

My Baby First Day

My baby first day started on 6 March 8.40pm. Around 10pm, after the nurse finished cleaning and sewing me because I had tear while giving pregnancy to the baby, I am back to my hospital bed. I had a chat with some of the new friends who are also waiting to give labor in the hospital. They asked me many thing about my labor since they knew I have a induce labor, you can read it here; my baby born at 40 weeks. I don't remember most of the question but some of them asked is it painful? Yes, for me it is certainly a painful experience.

I am a little bit sad when my husband cannot come in to the hospital to Azan our baby because the hospital procedure don't allow visitor after visiting hours. My baby behavior that night make me smile, he keep on lifting both his hands near his ear (look like giving takbir) all night long. Maybe he want to remind me I forget to give Azan to him. I whisper syahadah to Zariff Safwan ear and try to breastfeed him for the first time. It will be a lie if I say it is a beautiful memories breastfeeding for the first day. Get ready to had a wound around your nipple if you don't knew the right technique to breastfeed. Especially if you have a lack of milk on the first day. I don't give up, even though I feel pain, I keep on trying to breastfeed him.
"Walaupun kita nampak baby tu macam lemah tapi bila dia start hisap susu, dia sangat kuat. Jadi kalau masukkan puting, masukkan sepenuhnya ke dalam mulut baby untuk mengelakkan luka".
A friend on my right bed side teach me the right technique to breastfeed, you need to make sure the baby suck your nipple properly. They maybe look weak but when it come to suck nipple, they are eager to suckle. That night, I had to woke up all night because my baby keep on crying because he is hungry. When I look at other baby around me, most of them keep quiet and sleeping. In my mind, that maybe because of late labor (10 days) compare to normal babies.

When it came to changing his diaper, I don't have problem since I have 2 younger sisters and brother that I take care before. But changing a diapers to your own son is totally a different experience. I don't feel creepy changing his diapers compare with changing my siblings diaper. Oh.., before I forget, a newborn feces or poop color is a bit black/green in color and it will be a little bit hard to clean them. You need to make sure you bring as many baby wet tissue or baby wipers as you can in the hospital. In my baby case, he give poop three times in a night. Even though my baby keep on crying, I don't have enough sleep and rest, I feel want a bit angry, when I look at my little Zariff face, all the bad mode are gone. I keep on trying to wake up to breastfeed my precious baby.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

My baby born at 40 weeks

Thank you to all my friends who has been wishing me good luck via Facebook, E-mail, Phone and also Twitter. Most of my Facebook friends already knew my baby born at 40 weeks 3 days, on 6 March 2012. After over 9 days from REDD (25 February), they're still no sign of labor, I were admitted to Maternity Wad in Kota Marudu Hospital on 5 March 2012. In the morning of 5th February, my cervix opening is 3cm, the doctor decide to delay the pain medication for labor.

The next day, it still 3cm, Dr. Jeremy said they will wait until the opening become 4cm and they will force delivery. A nurse told me to eat anything I want now because I cannot go out once I admitted in the labor room. In the afternoon, even though it is very painful and blood coming out every minutes, I keep on trying to endure the pain because I want to try a cooking from a new restaurant that my husband bought for me. 4.30pm when the visiting time came, I eat my "Nasi Goreng Lalap" that my husband bought. I can only eat a small portion and 20 minutes later, I admitted in the labor room.

After my water has been broken and waiting for medication to been given by nurse, Dr. Jeremy come in and told me that these will be a very painful experience that he cannot imagine. He come out from the labor room showing me the horror face. 5.30pm, I start to feel the pain bit by bit. At first, I only show some tears while enduring the pain. After one hour, they still cannot see any contraction, they start giving me medication and told me to pee and go to defecate with a side position.

The nurse said to me,"Jangan malu-malu berak kalau mau berak ya."

At that time, I were thinking how can they stand waiting and talking with all the smell in the closed and air-condition room like that.

After I had thrown all my waste, they start to see a contraction from the machine. Dr. Jeremy come in again and asked for any update about me. At that moment, I were thinking will this doctor be delivering my baby? But in the end I knew he just monitoring. Dr. jeremy start to tapped my shoulder and try to motivate me. When they told me to change my lie down position almost every minutes, it make me mad. But I try to keep it to myself since I knew they're only doing their job.

At 8pm, the pain is something that I cannot imagine and I crying out loud without a piece of shame. Even when the nurses in the room told me to stop crying since I need more energy during labor, I keep on crying and shouting like a mad men. I only stop crying when I saw my husband cousin (a nurse) give me a towel. When she saw me crying, I still remembered what he said,"bawa mengucap kak". It make me stop crying for a while and say my pray to Allah.  But I continue crying and shouting after that.

When my crying and shouting become louder, they knew my contraction is coming and they check for the cervix opening. They can saw my baby head try to come out but they're something blocking its way. I can only remembered they said,"ring belum terbuka". Few minutes later,the ring started to open and they told me to push. I try to push so many time but I really don't know the right technique.

One of the nurse said,"Kau tak boleh lemah semangat, mesti kuatkan semangat untuk baby kau, nanti baby lemas, Kau dapat buat sekali teran tu sebab kau tinggi."

I try to think how to do the right push and try to imagine my hubby cousin words,"teran macam mau berak tahi yang keras." After that I imagine myself defecate and hold on to the iron bar in that room. I try to push as hard as I can when the pain came, the baby head come out. I thought its the end of my labor journey, I take a deep breath of relief. When all the nurses said,"teran lagi, badan baby belum keluar". With all energy that I had left, I try to push as hard as I can. After my baby body come out, all the other things came out to excluding the placenta. A nurse help me pull the placenta out.

My baby born at 8.40pm. Everyone in the room said that my maternity process is very short compare to other people. maybe because I always walk training and drink pure coconut oil. They put my baby on my chest for a few minutes and clean me up. A nurse show me my baby gender and I just nod. 

When she put a cloth on my baby, she asked me,"Kau memang tahu sedia baby ko lelaki?".
"Yes", I answered.
"Patutlah semua color baju dan seluar dia biru".

That's all what I can share with everyone. FYI, I am still not feeling well and still feel a bit pain but I am glad everything OK. Our baby, Zariff Safwan is very healthy and drink a lot of his mom milk everyday. On the day of his birth, he weight 2.85kg but have a very long body compare to other baby in Kota Marudu.

I also want to thanks all the nurses in Kota Marudu Hospital for their hospitality and generosity. I am sorry, I don't remember all your name but hopefully some of you can read this blog. To my husband cousin, Sarimah and Razali, thank you very much for your concern and help during 3 days I am in the hospital. It will be a memorable moments in my families story. On 6 March 2012, I become a Queen and a mom to a handsome dragon baby boy.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pengalaman Kena denda di Sekolah

Pengalaman Kena denda di Sekolah (my experience being punished in school). I know many of you are naughty during your school days and had been punished (di denda) by your school teacher. I am not a "naughty girl" or "budak nakal" during school days but I also had some experience "di denda cikgu" (punish by teacher) because of my wrong doing during school days. Before I tell you my story, I think I need to tell you a little bit about my school. During my primary school, I went to SK Tagaroh in Kota Marudu until 1993. In 1994, I started my secondary school at SMK Kota Marudu until 1998.
denda di sekolah
To be honest, I don't have many experience being fined in school but I always remember the incident in 1993 when I was year 6 at SK Tagaroh. All happened because of a student who is a farm boy with a tanned skin. I don't know what happened to me during those days, I followed my friends calling him "Gobuk" (monkey) in class. We make fun of him until he cries. Someone reported the incident to "cikgu disiplin" (disciplinary teacher), whom also related to my mom and she asked me and my friends to meet her. I still remember all "10 naughty girlfiends" of mine name until these days. All of us go to the disciplinary teacher room and were given lecture about our wrong doing. After that, we were punished and everyone get beaten on their hand with cane.

When its my turn, the teacher twisted my ears and said to me:
"kau aa Bel, sudahlah kau ketua kelas, kau ikut-ikut lagi mengejek orang. Saya report nanti ko sama mama kau".
(Bel, you're the class monitor, why do you make fun of other people. Don't make me report this to your mother)

After that, all of us need to say sorry to him in-front of class and each of us shake hands with him.

Gambar Budak Nakal

Sound like a boring story, right? But this story doesn't end just like that. That boy bear a grudge with me and asked me to fight with him after school hour. I was so frightened and ran back home as fast as I can but he pursued me from behind. After I reached home, I told my dad, a boy want to fight with me and followed me home. When my dad came out from the house, that boy already runaway after hearing my dad shouting "budak nakal!". 3 days later, his parent came to my house and meet my dad. They were talking happily and I was shivering in my room. Afraid my dad know what really happened.

That is my story on "Pengalaman di denda di Sekolah". From the bottom of my heart, I want to say sorry to that tanned boy. I don't know what happened to him today but wish he has a wonderful life.

To all younger generation out there, teacher punish us to teach not because they hate us. Please don't do any "aksi panas", "aksi nakal", "langgar disiplin" or "melawan guru". One day you will regret it and it will be hard to take it back.

This Pengalaman kena denda di Sekolah contest organize by:

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